This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Randomize
