Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
