Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize