I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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