After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize