beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
