i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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