I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
