i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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