yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
