I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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