i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
