We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
