At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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