Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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