you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
