So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
