she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
from now on my penis is your penis
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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