I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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