then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
