Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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