Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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