Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
