If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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