we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
