it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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