thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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