That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize
