part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
