I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize