I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
