Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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