a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
