It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize