The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
