you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
