this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
