Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
