Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
