He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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