grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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