It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
