If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
