Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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