so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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