drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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