you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize