Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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