just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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