i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
