The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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