shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
