but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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