He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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