You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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