Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
