somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
