What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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