I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
