So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
