Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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