Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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