Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
