Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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