i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
