i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
