If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
