If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
