There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize