I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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