I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
